Beards.
Just to be clear, I’m referring to facial hair. They’re in. They’re out. They’re in again.
If you’ve decided to grow one, be it a full beard, van Dyke, mutton-chops (okay, maybe that’s not officially a beard, but you get the idea), I have one important comment I’d like to make. Deciding to sport a beard is NOT as simple as deciding not to shave.
I think that bears repeating. Deciding to sport a beard is NOT as simple as deciding not to shave.
Yes, growing a beard is that simple. For starters. But please show some consideration to others who have to look at you. Maintain it. You may have decided to grow one because you hate shaving, but sorry, it’s a little more involved than that. Or at least it should be. Trim it occasionally, shave around it, and chop off those stragglers that seem to pop out of nowhere – unless your culture dictates otherwise, in which case you can stop reading now…if you haven’t already. And if you’re playing the part of an ex-president, some late 1800s politician, or Horace Greeley, I’ll cut you some slack.
Unfortunately, the “I don’t give a damn” look seems to have taken over the male half of the nation in recent years. Maybe even the planet. For starters, I’ll blame NFL quarterback Andrew Luck (see pic below). He’s the first modern public figure I can remember with a neck beard. For those too young to remember, he was the number one NFL draft choice back in the ancient year of 2012. Once he had his multi-million dollar ticket punched, he seemed to have given up caring about his looks. At first I figured he just decided to skip shaving a couple of days before a game to intimidate the other team. But after seeing him in post-game press conferences and other public places sporting that same unkempt look, I realized it may be intentional. And I may have even yelled at the TV. Yes, I realize that’s more my problem than his.
Then I stopped paying attention for a while. Until I started noticing the somewhat stylish, or at least somewhat fashionable two-day beard growth, as worn by the likes of George Clooney and John Hamm, for example. It’s a look, albeit a scruffy, yet weirdly clean-shaven look. And many other Hollywood actors and other public figures adopted the style, whether or not they looked like Clooney or Hamm to begin with. So much so that manufacturers starting making shavers specifically designed to create that stubble look. And why not? If there’s money to be made, the prevailing wisdom is to jump on the bandwagon. I can’t really blame them. But then it got out of hand. As often happens, the trend-setters figured that if a little untidiness is good, then a lot must be great.
So we fast-forward to the last couple of years, where it seems like every twenty-something (or even thirty-something) male seen on any movie, TV commercial or magazine page is cast only if they look like they just crawled out from under a rock. Like they haven’t shaved for a week or so and have just given up on life. They wake up, throw on some sweats, and they’re ready to greet the world. Look, I’m far from a fashion-conscious guy – we’ve even discussed this in one of our episodes – but even I think it looks stupid. How the hell are these men finding partners who find that look attractive? And what does that say about said partners? What’s next, the un-bathed look? I hope the Mad Men of Madison Avenue don’t read this and get any ideas.
Jumping off my soapbox now.
So all you neck-bearded men, please clean up your act. Or at least your neck. And if you feel strongly about it, leave a Comment and tell me how wrong I am. Meanwhile I’ll ask your potential suitors to tell me how right I am.
P.S. You may have noticed that we Radio Relics both sport beards of a sort but we both follow that unwritten rule. Trend-setters we’re not. But we do still have a little pride.
